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Studies Explain Whether Soulmates Exist and How Romantic Love, Love Compatibility, and Emotional Bonding Shape Relationships.
The idea that there is a single person destined for each individual resurfaced in the debate on this February 14, a date when various countries celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Researchers in psychology, sociology, and biology investigate whether so-called soulmates really exist, who supports this belief, when it gained historical strength, where it originated culturally, and how it influences current relationships.
The reason for scientific interest is clear: to understand whether love is a product of fate or of emotional and behavioral construction over time.
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Tourists were poisoned on Everest in a million-dollar fraud scheme involving helicopters that diverted over $19 million and shocked international authorities.
Recent studies indicate that while romantic love is a real and intense experience, the notion of predestined love may be more cultural than biological.
Thus, science seeks to explain why so many people feel a strong emotional bond and interpret this connection as proof of a soulmate.
Soulmates in History: From Myth to Popular Culture
The belief in soulmates is not recent.
In ancient Greece, Plato described humans who were split in half by Zeus, spending their lives searching for their other half — a narrative that shaped the idea of perfect love compatibility.
During the Middle Ages, the so-called courtly love reinforced this view.
Stories like that of Lancelot and Guinevere turned romantic suffering into proof of devotion.
By the Renaissance, William Shakespeare popularized the notion of lovers “marked by the stars.”
Over time, Hollywood and literature expanded this imagery.
Therefore, the modern notion of predestined love gained cultural strength, influencing expectations within contemporary relationships.
Romantic Love and Modern Society
According to Viren Swami, a professor of social psychology at Anglia Ruskin University, the current view of romantic love was born from these medieval narratives.
“These stories were the first to spread the idea that you should choose a single individual as a partner, and that this partner is for a lifetime,” he says.
“Before that, in much of Europe, you could love as many people as you wanted, and love was more fluid, often not centered on sex.”
With industrialization and the weakening of traditional communities, the search for a single partner gained emotional weight.
“They begin to look for one person who will save them, who will rescue them from the misery of their lives.”
Today, apps turn this search into an algorithm.
“For many people, it’s a soulless experience,” says Swami.
“You are buying a partner… possibly going through dozens of profiles until you reach a point where you think: I need to stop.”
The Difference Between Soulmate and Love Compatibility
Jason Carroll, a professor at Brigham Young University, proposes separating fate from construction in relationships.
“We are creatures driven by attachment,” he says. “We desire this bond.”
“A soulmate is simply found. It is already there.
But ‘the right person’ is something that two people build together over the years, adapting, apologizing, and sometimes gritting their teeth.”
The Trap of Soulmates in Relationships
Research cited by Carroll distinguishes “beliefs in destiny” from “growth beliefs.”
Studies conducted by C. Raymond Knee showed that people who believe in predestined love tend to give up more easily after conflicts.
Those focused on growth, however, maintain greater commitment.
Carroll summarizes the risk:
“At the first difficulty, the immediate thought is: ‘I thought you were my soulmate. Maybe you’re not because soulmates shouldn’t go through this.’”
Chemistry or Traumatic Emotional Bond?
Coach Vicki Pavitt observes that not all chemistry indicates healthy love compatibility.
“When there is very strong chemistry and that spark, I think that sometimes it means reopening old and unhealthy patterns.”
She describes dynamics of approach and avoidance that generate anxiety.
“An inconsistent person… can make you think ‘I can’t wait to see them again,’ but what’s happening is that they generate so much anxiety that it makes you want them even more.”
The study by Donald Dutton and Susan Painter reinforces the thesis: stronger bonds emerged in relationships that alternated charm and cruelty.
Biology of Attraction and Romantic Love
Thus, science also points to hormonal factors.
Research indicates that contraceptives can alter perceptions of attraction.
A study with 365 couples showed greater satisfaction when the female hormonal status remained the same as at the beginning of the relationship.
In other words, even biological chemistry influences the feeling of having found “the right person.”
Mathematics of Love Compatibility
Economist Greg Leo developed an algorithm that simulates relationships.
In the study “Matching Soulmates,” pairs are formed through stable matching. The results show that it is rare for someone to be the absolute first mutual choice.
Thus, the model suggests multiple possibilities for love compatibility, not just a single unique soulmate.
Small Gestures and Lasting Emotional Bond
Thus, sociologist Jacqui Gabb investigated what sustains the emotional bond.
In the Enduring Love project, with 5,000 participants, the most valued factors were simple: everyday gestures.
Therefore, unexpected gifts. Breakfast in bed. Discreet smiles.
“The feeling of a soulmate here does not hover above life; it is built, inch by inch, through life itself,” she states.
Romantic Love: Fate or Construction?
Therefore for Carroll, romanticism and science are not opposites.
“I feel comfortable with the aspiration to be in a unique and special relationship, as long as we remember that it needs to be built.”
Pavitt adds:
“I don’t believe there is one person for each of us… but I believe we can become ‘the right person’ for someone.”
Conclusion: Do Soulmates Exist?
Thus, science does not confirm the existence of soulmates predestined.
However, it recognizes that romantic love, love compatibility, and emotional bonding can become so deep that they seem to be the work of destiny.
So the paradox is clear: relationships that seem “written in the stars” often arise when two imperfect people decide to build something together — every day.
Read more at: The Science of Soulmates: Is There Really Someone Who ‘Was Made for You’? – BBC News Brasil
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